Chapter 85: The Fall/Rope

Short update from Ty's POV... more to come soon I hope. This is three or so months ahead from the last spot we were at.. Ty is out of the hospital and living in a studio apartment, but hasn't quite made it back to working again yet.

Ty's POV

Love.. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. This concept seems so simple, but in reality it isn't. It's a mind game.. a game of wonder, and questioning. Love is easiest understood when there is no questions asked, and trust is complete. But when is that ever easy? When does the human mind go unquestioning?

It doesn't.

There is always that lingering 'what if' floating around in the back of your head. And no matter how often you are telling yourself you are being ridiculous and that you do love your boyfriend, fiance, or even husband, there is always that feeling of 'do they love me back'? And then your mind plays games with you. Vicious, uncalled for games. You think the worst is going to happen, almost just to prepare yourself, so the burn from the aftermath doesn't quite sting as much. And in a way, you almost talk yourself out of the concept of love by implying that you aren't loved, so you have no love to give. You are so dead set that even though you won't break up, you aren't going to push the issue either. You put your guard up. And suddenly, the ground around the giant wall begins to crumble, and things start falling apart.

And then you begin to rely on trust, and the mind games begin all over again. You tell yourself that you are loved, and you love someone in return, without questions, no 'what ifs'. You tell yourself that when you look into that certain persons eyes, you can feel a heat emanating from them that you just don't find in other peoples. You tell yourself that when in their arms, you feel safe, and wanted, and content.

And then you start to believe it with all of your heart. You have your mind made up that you can't live without this person, and that better yet, you never want to. You start to think that life without them will be a constant struggle, a struggle you don't want to go through. You get excited at the thought of getting to see them. Even a single text message can put a smile on your face. And just when you think things are becoming more official, it happens.

The heartbreak. The feeling of getting everything you are accustomed to ripped out from under your feet. The feeling of unwant, deceit, and pain at the most intolerable amounts. Your heart feels heavy, as if it's carrying a massive burden from being abused. It's almost like whiplash.. like you are trying your best to hang on, but the rope saving you from falling over the ledge just keeps slipping through your fingers, and you struggle and struggle to hang on, but in the end you feel it slip right through your fingertips anyways, and the begin the fall to the bottom.

And just like at every fall, there is a stopping point. Mine was a couple of months ago, when the look in Geno's eyes made it very clear that I had no hope. And just when you think there is no light at the end of the tunnel, and there will be no rope to help you back on your feet, one appears, and inch by inch you feel yourself getting better, getting stronger, and the rope continues to pull you up. Not enough so that you make it all the way to the top, and not enough to bring you back completely from the fall, but ever so steadily, the rope continues its decent to the top, and you continue to get stronger. Everyone needs someone like this in their life, and after three months of a constant struggle, I had found my 'rope' in life-form.

Max.

Chapter 84: Broken Strings

Enter Max: Whooooo. :)

Theme Song for the Chapter: James Morrison and Nelly Furtado - Broken Strings

Ty's POV

Let me hold you for the last time

It's the last chance to feel again

But you broke me

Now I can't feel anything

When I love you it's so untrue

I can't even convince myself

When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

"I can't go through that again." His voice is soft, but on edge at the same time. I look up at him just in time for him to make eye contact with me. "Not ever." His words are so final, so thought through that they cut through me as if my feelings are paper thin, and I guess at this point they are.

I keep telling myself that I can change his mind. That maybe, just maybe.. if I can get him to talk to me, and really talk to me, that he will feel for me once again all the things that he did. But looking at him now, I know that's not going to happen. He's dead set on his decision. I go off on a rant, trying that as a last tactic, but it doesn't help at all. "Come on, this is so wrong" I try as a final plead, but when all emotion is still vacant from his face, I know I've lost him.

It tears me up

I try to hold on but it hurts too much

I try to forgive but it's not enough to make it all okay

I watch him as he shifts his weight from one foot the the other, never once glancing up at me again. His jaw is tight, almost in the same way it is when he's on the ice and he's getting pissed. I open my mouth to say something, anything, but my voice fails me as my mind decides I have nothing further to say. I can't make him want me. I can't make him want to try and make this work. And I can't make him want to love me again. I clutch my hands into fists by my side right before I hear the door open.

I look over, and when I see it's Max he looks from me to Geno, and then back to me but doesn't dare say anything. He can obviously tell that we aren't seeing eye to eye, so he doesn't say anything as he stands in the doorway continuing to look at us both.

"You should go," Geno says in a quiet voice, breaking the silence between the three of us. He makes his way over toward me to help me to the door, and anger suddenly fills me.

"I know my way out," I retort, moving my arm just out of his grasp before starting the painful walk toward the door. Not only is my knee hurting with every step, but it feels like every inch I take closer to that door and farther away from Geno and the comfort he use to provide for me, that my heart is breaking that much more.

Once I shut the door, Max scoops me up in his arm and takes me toward his car. I wrap my arms around his neck and allow my head to rest on his shoulder as the first silent tears begin to from my eyes. Instead of putting me into the car right away, he leans against it instead, holding me and allowing me to have my mini breakdown. I'm sure we look like quite the pair, and quite awkward as well. Since I stand a good couple of inches taller than him when on flat feet, I'm I look weird cradled in his arms now. I pick my head up and place one hand on the other side of his face, bringing his cheek closer to my direction before placing a single kiss on his cheek before my sobbing becomes more intense. He clutches me closer, and all I can do is snuggle closer as I realize for the first time that it's still raining.

Max's POV

While holding Ty, I feel a warmth emanating from inside of me that I've never felt before. I feel giddy like a child, and that scares me. She kisses my cheek gently, and it's then that I know I have to get her out of my arms. I place her in the passenger seat of my car before closing the door and taking a deep breath. For some reason, I feel almost like the vampire from twilight; almost as if I get into that car with her, that her smell will consume me and I might not be able to keep my composure. Taking another deep breath, I trot around to the other side of the car and slide in, throwing it into reverse and backing out of the drive way.

After I finally get her back into her room at the hospital, after several 'go to hell' looks from the nurses, I sit in the chair across from her bed and I watch her. She's quiet, reserved. Yes, that's how Ty normally is, but that glimmer, the one that is always present in her eyes is gone. No trace of it what-so-ever.

We're a lot alike, her and I. She was doing fine on her own before Geno, just as I was before I met Rylie. Neither of us had any intentions of getting into anything serious anytime soon. And then they both broke into our worlds, and we don't quite know how to function without them.

She scoots over on the bed a little bit, and taps the empty space next to her. I wonder if she knows what she's doing to my mind right now or not, but then decide against that fact. I can tell just by the way she's acting that Geno is the only man on her mind right now, and that right now, she just needs to be held. I slip into the bed next to her, allowing her to lay on my chest as I hear her breathing getting deeper again, indicating that she's crying again.

"I don't know what to do," she sobs lightly while clutching onto me tighter, making me feel a little more uncomfortable. Sure, I love being able to sit here for her, helping her get through this. But it's never been this tough on me before.

"Maybe he will change his mind," I offer, but silently hope that he doesn't. After the thought has crossed my mind, I wonder where it came from. "Sure, he's being a dick right now," I add, to which she shakes her head and I can't help but chuckle. "But he does love you. I know it." I sit there before adding, "Everybody knows it," because it's true. When in the locker room, every single guy as the moment of feeling 'I want that', when looking at couples that are together. Happy couples. When looking at Ty and Geno, it was hard to not feel that.

"I guess that's not enough anymore," she sighs.

"Who knows when it will be, but he'll come around. Eventually."

She pulls away from my chest and looks me in the eyes. A chill goes down my spine as I realize for the first time just how close we are to each other. "I just don't know if I'll still be waiting for him," she answers, before silence comes between us and we both just look at each other.

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Alright ladies, I want input. This last update is not where I planned on taking things, but my fingers hit the keyboard and it just kinda happened. Ha. So.... vote time.

Do you want something to happen between Max and Ty? Do they sleep together and nothing more, do they fall for each other, do they hide it from Geno, does he know... I want to know what you all think on all of these ideas. Heck, even throw in some of your own ideas. This last update has my mind turning. Hopefully that means more updates soon..? At least I hope so..

Chapter 83: Responses

Spell check wouldn't work, so I'm almost promising there are errors all over the place.

Geno's POV

Today, it was especially harder than normal.

For me, I had no one to console me, no one to talk to about it, and no one to try and cheer me up simply because I did this to myself, and no one feels sorry for me. Everyone thinks that this is all so easy on me, that I'm perfectly fine, and that I don't feel incredibly alone every second I sit in this damn house.. the home we created together; they couldn't be more wrong. Every single thing in here reminds me of her some way, some how.



The couch. Anytime I sit on it or even sit in the living room looking at it, I can almost feel her body pressed up next to mine, resting next to me on a lazy day. The silence I always sit in reminds me of the silence we use to share together on this very coch, except silence with her is way more comforting than silence by myself. We never had to speak to know what the other was thinking, and I'm just now realizing how much comfort I found in that.

The kitchen. I can just pass by, and I can see her standing at the sink, her hair in a messy bun with strands falling down around her face, washing the dishes before she turns and looks over her shoulder, a smile crossing her face as she looks at me walking toward her. I wrap my arms around her waist, trying to drag her out of the room before she sends me away. I don't pout for too long though, because I know she'll be coming after me soon; she always did.

The bathroom. The location of all those dreaded bubble baths she use to make me take. I would complain anytime we took one, but secretely liked it, just not wanting her to find out. Sure, the scented bubbles sucked like hell, but having her laying in my arms was never detremental to my health. Not to mention the shower.. I can barely even stand to look at it without the memory of water dripping down her body coming into mind.

The bedroom. Sure, this is where I had my way with her, but that's not why it kills me to enter this room. With the lights off, no clothes on, and nothing to hid behind, this is where I learned the most about her and where she learned the most about me. We were in the most vulnerable states imaginable here in this room together, and anytime I enter this specific room I can't hep but think about that.. about how she opened up to me.

Someone rings the doorbell, bringing me out of the daze I had previously been in. But what, who the hell would be here at 11 at night? Shaking my head, I take a deep breath before heading toward the door, thinking it will be Kris or Max, or maybe they even sent Sid over to try to deal with me tonight. I open the door, and when I see Ty standing there, I don't know what to do.


She's soaking wet from the rain. I look past her for someone else emerge, but can't see anybody so my eyes fall on her again.


"What.. what are you doing here?" I manage to say after a couple of seconds. I move out of the way of the door, allowing her to come inside, but she just stands there.


"I need answers," she replies in an even tone. It's at that point that I can't tell if the pained expression on her face is due to hurt, frustration, or because she's flat out pissed. She moves her way past me, and when I see her teetering on her messed up knee, I reach out and grab her arm to steady her. She cringes away from my touch and it's like an automatic slap to the face, but I don't rescind my arm or let go of her. She looks at where my arm is still clutching her arm and it feels like time stills. Even though I know I'm pushing my luck, I scoop her up in my arms and take her to the couch.



I place her down gently, resting her leg on the couch before sitting down at the opposite end. I look straight forward, not knowing what to do now. This.. this defintely wasn't in my plan. I had figured I would have more time to pull myself together before facing her again. I planned on not having to see her again until she was working at the arena again.



I take a deep breath before glancing up at her, only to find her intense gaze focused on me. We both stare at each other, waiting for the other to look away, but neither of us daring to. She finally chuckles softly while shrugging her shoulders before I start to see the tears welling in her eyes. They start rolling down her cheeks, but she quickly wipes them away even though they continue to fall. Just like old times, I can't take the sight of her crying, so I do the only thing I can think of; I move over to her side of the couch and hold her in my arms, cradling her head against my chest. When the tears finally stop falling from here eyes, I take a deep breath before putting her at arms length again and trying to compose myself.

Ty's POV

It felt right. Being in his arms again, it just felt right. That's the only way I could describe it. And sure, I was crying because of him, but just having him there to comfort me, it's what I wanted; it's what I needed. Just as I seem to be getting my emotions back under control, he gently pushes me away before looking down at his hands again.

"I'm going to call your doctor," he replies in a tone barely above a whisper before starting to get off the couch, but I grab his arm and hold on as tightly as I can, making him sit back down, but he still doesn't look at me.

"I don't want you to call my doctor," I answer, still holding on to him just as tightly, knowing that in seconds he could be farther away than I'd like him to be. "I just want you to listen."

"Going over this again isn't going to do either of us any good," he replies in a monotone voice, much like a robot; keeping his emotions clear from his face and still not making eye contact with me.

"Well, if that's what you think thant too bad," I snap defensively, and automatically wish I would have as he closes his eyes and puts his head in his hands, futher hiding himself from me. "If you think I'm going to be passively accepting while you walk out on me." I wait, watching him go through his internal debate. I know that if I could just make him look at me, look me in the eyes that maybe.. just maybe I've got a shot at making him change his mind. He sighs audibly before speaking up, raising his head a little, but focusing his eyesight on the coffee table in front of us rather than on me.

"Do you think this is what I want?" He asks in an eerily steady tone. "That I don't miss you every second?" he continues louder before finally turning and facing me, and when he does, I almost wish he didn't. The look in his eyes has me more than a little on edge. It's not a scary or frightening look, no. It's pure passion. The only bad part is, that passion isn't working in my favor. "That I don't lie in bed at night, unable to sleep because you aren't next to me?" he presses on, his voice getting even louder with every statement he makes. He takes a deep breath, composing himself again before looking away from me. We sit in silence for a couple of seconds before I dare speak up again.

"Than let me come back," I almost plead. "Let me back into your life. We can be happy again."

"I am trying--"

"To protect me," I interupt. "I know. But I don't need protection. Not from you at least. I'm not afraid of you or your life," I say as the tears start to form in my eyes again. "I took it on as my own a long time ago. Freely. Without reservation. My choice," I press on. "Something that use to mean something to you." I can see that I'm getting to him, that his resolve is becoming weaker. And then his phone rings. He gets up and walks into the other room, and I hear him confirm to Max that I'm here, before he says 'see you soon' at which point I know I'm running out of time. I hear him walk upstairs, only to come back with one of my jackets. He sits down on the couch next to me, putting it on me carefully, almost as if he doesn't want to touch me. When he's done, he slides a couple of inches away from me on the couch, but I'm not letting him get away that easily.

Geno's POV

"You still love me." She doesn't ask it in question form, it's a statement. And she knows it's true. I take a deep breath, knowing that I can't start lying to her now. I've done enough of that lately.

"Of course I do. That's not the point," I answer, trying to be as vague as possibly.

"It's the only point," she replies, shooting closer to me on the couch so that our faces are mere inches apart. "It's the only thing that matters. We are a team, you can't arbitrarily decide that we are over."

"It wasn't arbitrary," I reply than a harsher tone than I intended on using, making her lean backwards a little bit in shock. "I watched you almost die because of me."

"I have had a tone of close calls," she replies, shrugging her shoulders as if to say it's not a big deal. "When it is my time, I'm going to die whether I am with you or not. I fell in love with you, and when that happened, everything changed. There is no going back," she continues to plead. "I need us. I miss our ease. I miss our trust. And our faith. When... when did you lose faith?" I feel the tears building in my own eyes for the first time tonight as I think back to the exact moment she's talking about.

"The first night I held you're helpless body in the hospital due to some bastard that found you because of me." My reply catches her off guard, and we both stare at each other until I finally look down at my hands again. "I can't go through that again," I say while shaking my head. "Not ever."

"It's not like you to be afraid," she answers.

"Well, I am," I say simply. It's the best way to answer her, because I am afraid. Terribly afraid. "I'm afraid of being part of the reason why you lose your life. If you wouldn't have been in the newspapers, he wouldn't have ever have found you and you wouldn't have been lying in that hospital bed, unconsious for days."

"There's a flaw in your logic," she replies while getting up. "Him finding me at the arena is no different than him finding me in a coffee shop. If it was going to happen, there was no stopping it." I shrug my shoulders in response, not knowing what else to do. "Come on, this is so wrong," she pleads before she starts crying again. I look at her, and I know she's exactly right.

As if on cue, Max walks through the door, and I couldn't be happier at his timing.